Episode 518: Crickets in Your Facebook Group? It's Not Your Content—It's Your Onboarding, with Tonya Kubo

Your Group Isn't Quiet Because Nobody Cares

Every writer who has ever started a Facebook group knows the feeling. You invite people in. You post something thoughtful — something you actually worked on. And then… nothing. Crickets. And the very first thought that shows up is, Nobody cares. I'm bad at this. I should shut the whole thing down and go eat some cheese.

In this episode of Writing at the Red House, Kathi Lipp sits down with community expert Tonya Kubo to talk about why that silence usually isn't what writers think it is. Tonya's take: low engagement is rarely a content problem. It's almost always an onboarding problem.

Why This Matters for Writers

Most writers are told they need a platform, an audience, a group of "their people." What nobody explains is what to actually do once those people arrive. So writers keep producing more content, working harder, posting more often — and wondering why the room stays quiet.

Kathi and Tonya unpack the simple, practical shifts that turn a silent group into a living community — without adding hours to an already full week.

What Listeners Will Take Away

• Why people lurk instead of comment — and what that silence is actually saying
• The low-hanging fruit most group owners never handle (hint: it starts with notifications)
• How to make a group feel safe enough that members will ask the question they think is "dumb"
• A simple welcome email sequence that doesn't require a tech degree to set up
• Why a fuzzy group description invites exactly the members you don't want — illustrated by a 300,000-member cautionary tale
• How to turn a private DM into content that serves the whole group (and makes the asker feel like a VIP)
• The weekly rhythm that keeps members coming back without burning out the leader
• The one onboarding goal that changes everything six months down the road

The Heart of It

As Tonya puts it, the goal of a good onboarding process is to make it "easier for them to participate than it is to not participate." And Kathi sums up the why behind all of it: when people know what to expect, they feel safety and they feel freedom.

For writers building an audience while juggling kids, jobs, caregiving, and a manuscript that keeps calling — this episode is a reminder that community doesn't have to be one more thing to carry. Done right, it carries you back.

Listen now and find out what's really happening in that quiet little group of yours.